why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You are a genius and a whore.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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