is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
