Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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