Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
