If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
