My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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