Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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