it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
