Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
