Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
