Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
