You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
