batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I look better un-naked...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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