I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
