my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sorry my hands just texted you
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
