Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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