I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
