just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
