Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
