I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
