Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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