Did I show you my penis last night?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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