dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
