Duck Duck Cougar?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
