Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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