Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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