The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
