How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
