you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
