So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
