is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
