Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
