Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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