I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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