I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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