I like my sex mixed with concussions.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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