Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
