I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
