spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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