Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
