I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
