thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
where am i from again
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
