He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
