listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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