So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
