You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
