Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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