Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
