How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
