go do what you do best...puke behind churches
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I can text with my tongue
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Randomize
