i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
