Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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