I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
