She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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