one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
