I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
