Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize