Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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